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Home Security Threat LevelHome Security Southern Style Title

Home Security Southern Style

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copies of Guns & Ammo.

magazine and some back-issues of NRA magazine.Home Security Redneck

3. Put several giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines
Home Security Dog
(Include a deer thighbone).

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Duke,
Big Jim, Slammer, Slim, and I went for more hollow-point ammo.

Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- Home Security Guard Dogthey attacked the mailman

this morning and they messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part

in it. Thank God! It was hard to tell, though, from all the blood. Took Bobbi-Jo

hours to clean up the sidewalk. Anyways, I locked all four of 'em dogs up in the

house. Better wait outside. They're kinda spooked.
Home Security Mail Dog

We be right back, Bubba.

That is how home security southern style is done.

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